Meditation often presents us with an intriguing paradox: the more we chase a specific experience, the more it slips through our fingers.
"The only way to have the experience we seek is to stop seeking it altogether." Dr. Joe Dispenza
But if we aren’t supposed to seek, how do we ever reach what we’re looking for? The answer lies in the delicate balance between intention and surrender; two opposing forces that, when harmonised, create the perfect conditions for deep meditation, mindfulness, and personal transformation.
The Trap of Seeking
When we sit down to meditate, we often bring a goal with us; whether it’s inner peace, mental clarity, stress relief, or even a profound spiritual awakening. While having an intention is valuable, it can also cause problems. But why? Because seeking creates resistance. If we’re actively chasing peace, we’re reinforcing the idea that we don’t already have it! It's that lack mentality again and quantum physics tells us that needy energy is repellant, and we create what we observe to be true.
So, the bottom line is, do we want to keep creating more "not-enoughness"? If we’re striving for enlightenment, we’re subtly telling ourselves that we are not yet enough. This tension can keep the mind active, making true stillness harder to access. It’s similar to trying to fall asleep; you can’t force it. The more you try to sleep, the more restless you become. But the moment you stop trying and simply relax, sleep naturally takes over. Have you noticed that meditation works the same way? It's when you just give up and allow it to be what it is, that things really amp up.
The Power of Surrender
How many of us experienced meditators secretly expect mystical experiences or instant healings? Why the hell not? We've been practicing for years and it's about time. I have been guilty of this too. Meditation is about allowing, not forcing. It’s about releasing control and accepting whatever arises in the present moment; whether it’s thoughts, emotions, or sensations. When we surrender, we let go of expectations. Instead of demanding a specific experience, we simply sit with what is. Ironically, this is when meditation deepens. Peace comes when we stop grasping for it. Clarity emerges when we no longer chase it. Surrender is not about passivity; it’s about trusting the process. It means knowing that whatever happens (or doesn’t happen) in your meditation is exactly what you need in that moment. Ask yourself, how much faith and trust do you have in the process? And then show the Universe.
Instead of demanding a specific experience we simply sit with what is. Clarity emerges when we no longer chase it.
The Balance of Intention and Surrender
So, does this mean we should meditate without any purpose? Not at all. Intention still matters. It provides direction and structure; whether it’s committing to a daily practice, focusing on the breath, or cultivating mindfulness.
The key is to hold the intention lightly, without attachment to the outcome. It’s about showing up with dedication but without forcing results.
Think of it like planting a seed: Intention is preparing the soil, watering the seed, and making sure it has sunlight.
Surrender is trusting that the plant will grow in its own time, without constantly digging it up to check on it.
"Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." Lao Tzu
When we combine gentle intention with deep surrender, we create the ideal environment for growth, insight, and transformation to unfold naturally.
The true depth of meditation reveals itself when we learn to balance effort and ease. We set an intention, but we don’t chase after a result. We show up consistently, but we let go of expectations.
Ironically, it’s when we stop seeking that we finally find what we were looking for all along.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Louisa Greaves is an Australian registered clinical hypnotherapist, psychotherapist, and registered nurse offering both online and local services in Brisbane. She is the founder of the Somatic Hypnosis Technique, an intensive hypnotherapy method that delves deep into the subconscious mind using both spiritual and psychoneuroimmunological (mind-body) and modern scientific principles.
This innovative approach bridges science, psychology, and spirituality to address and alleviate clients' physical, mental, and spiritual discomfort and dysregulation.
To book an online one-on-one session with her, visit her website, find her on social media, or just give her a call on +61 (07) 0411 571 834.